Rebecca is planning on creating an educational and interactive project about gardening. Her idea is for promotion of food sustainability, save the bees, and why the big farming practices are bad for environment. I love the idea of a place for gardeners to learn about various tricks and tips for growing plants and vegetables. This will also be a resourceful tool for gardeners to share their own ideas and practices.
Together, we hashed out the details of the project, and what all to include. Since Rebecca was unsure of what platform to use, I recommended Wix to build this, as it is a very easy tool to use. It can be very interactive, and it can be easy for viewers to learn. I also suggested incorporating learning videos for the viewers, perhaps linking some from YouTube by well-known gardeners or even companies. This will offer viewers a change of pace and also provide expert advice. I offered an idea of using a little bee as her host or guide, flying around to help viewers navigate, but he could also pop up to give tips on gardening or the do’s and don’ts of products to use, etc.
My editorial guidance helped her narrow down exactly how she could implement her idea as well as offered different perspectives and understanding of material. She seemed to be more confident in building this project after we discussed ideas. Rebecca’s next steps are to map out her project and begin writing it out.
Provided developmental and conceptual editing to Ms. Hoffmann. By collaborating with Ms. Hoffmann, I ensured pacing of the story, helped establish believable characters, and fixed any plot holes throughout. I continued to work with Ms. Hoffmann during this process and helped shape her story based on her concepts. When working with Ms. Hoffmann, or any author, I ask questions to make them think about certain situations or facets of their characters or the storyline. I guide the author throughout this process to better understand and to better their story.
Haley created an interactive story, based on a children’s book like, Flat Stanley. She will construct a choose-your-own-adventure where the player creates an avatar, and can create the world they wish to play.
For Haley, I provided conceptual editing. My feedback was to dig deeper into how this will help kids learn narrative, plot flow, etc., and also if the player will choose from a list of characteristics in order to create their avatar. Haley was also hesitant in using Twine as her platform since it’s not easy to use to import images, especially creating avatars. I suggested using a website, but I’m not sure this is the right way either. She showed an example and went with multiple choices, which is easier for the players (who are kids) to follow along and play
I feel that my feedback helped Haley narrow down the layout and content. Her next steps are to decide on which platform to use and then drafting the piece.
Katie created an interactive fiction story in which the player is an 11-year-old girl faced with staying at home all weekend with her alcoholic mother. This piece is to bring awareness of alcoholism from a child’s perspective since there aren’t many readings from that point of view.
For conceptual editing, I asked Katie who is this piece geared toward exactly. She responded that it could be for parents and teens, but not kids. I suggested that it could be useful for kids so that they could also learn about alcoholism, should they ever be faced with this personally or if a friend is dealing with it at home. I also suggested trimming down her paragraphs and make more interactive play for the viewer, as well as include dialogue. As with any story, dialogue creates a strong flow and also characterizes people, and it’s a powerful tool, especially when creating dramatic scenes. Since Katie was feeling overwhelmed by the possible outcomes of the story, I recommended she build a storyboard in PowerPoint and choose some of her favorite outcomes.
In addition to conceptual, I also provided line editing and suggested to Katie to add more action verbs/phrases to the storyline to help get the readers involved more, and really understand what it's like to live (or be around) an alcoholic. I suggested giving more details to certain scenes, for example, the mother throws things around the house, and I thought maybe using specific details as to what kind of things are being thrown would really help the reader/player feel like they are there. I suggested that we see more of the mother apologizing, and not being told about it.
I helped rephrase a few clunky sentences and tightened them up. I believe my feedback was helpful in that the story will have a more show than tell feel and it will help the player/reader feel like they're really experiencing it. The next steps for Katie are to fix any spelling errors and add in some dialogue and rework some of the sentences.
I feel that my advice helped Katie figure out her audience as well as how to let the story flow and strengthen it and creating more interaction for the player.
Konrad’s piece is an interactive choose your own adventure game. The player is a gang member who has been with the gang since it was a child and its parents died in an accident. As you worm your way through, you find yourself through dark tunnels and passageways filled with beasts and other enemies. Konrad has also implemented the use of dice in the game like other role playing games.
I was able to take the text of his game and put it into Word. With that, I used track changes. I corrected spelling, inconsistencies, punctuations, etc. With my help, I believe Konrad’s piece is stronger in that it underwent a quality control. With these corrections, I feel as though the player can play through without distractions.